Your Destiny

Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny.

--David O. McKay

Building Your Self-Confidence at Work

By Anthony White

Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they're looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you're one of these people, you're not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?

First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake. Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and it's best for the company (which again will help you feel better).

Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem. You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers. Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to proceed; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.

When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior. In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.

It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house. Whatever your employer offers, take advantage of it. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.

Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results. Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.

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Anthony White: I am always thirsty for knowledge & eager to share it. Please visit me at http://zenblanco.blogspot.com & http://atraffic.blogspot.com or check out my favorite online earning opportunity at: http://www.CashMoney4You.com/pips.html
You may reprint this article, provided that no changes are made and this resource box is included.
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Always Grow

There are times when a man should be content with what he has but never with what he is.

--William George Jordan

Building Your Child's Self Esteem

By Anthony White

It's one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don't know how to develop it. Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do you foster this "thing" in your children?

We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child's self-esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest. For example, if art is not your child's top skill, don't say that his or her drawing is the best you've ever seen. Your child will know it's not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort. Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.

Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe. However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.

Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant. You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.

Encourage your children to try new things. While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your child's talents--this will help build self-confidence as well--it's also important that your children learn to experiment. Trying new things helps everyone overcome fears of the unknown and helps us learn to deal with success and failure. If a child never learns to try new things, this can create problems later in life. After all, most people do not live in a world where everything is the same day after day. Life is constantly changing, whether it's a move to a new city or starting a new career. If children are experienced at trying new things, even if small, life's bigger transitions will be much easier--such as leaving for college and starting a career.

These are, of course, only a few things you can do to help develop your child's self-confidence. The important thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process. The little things do add up, even if they seem unimportant. This can be helpful to keep in mind, particularly when something as important as developing your child's self esteem feels like a monumental task. It doesn't have to be! Taking time to recognize your child for the wonderful person he or she is, combined with a few techniques and consistency will go a long way toward raising a healthy, confident adult.

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Anthony White: I am always thirsty for knowledge & eager to share it. Please visit me at http://zenblanco.blogspot.com & http://atraffic.blogspot.com or check out my favorite online earning opportunity at: http://www.CashMoney4You.com/pips.html
You may reprint this article, provided that no changes are made and this resource box is included.
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Self Examination

What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him.

--Louis L. Mann

Building Self Esteem

By Anthony White

Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Everyone has a different view of themselves, but keeping a positive outlook will benefit you more than a negative one. Many individuals suffer from low self esteem for a variety of reasons and need to build their self esteem in order to succeed in life. Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you and no one else. The same goes for self esteem. The only person who can build up-or consequentially tear down-your self esteem is you. Although other individuals may aide the process, the end decision is yours.

People have low esteem for a variety of reasons. Some individuals suffer from poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance. Others have emotional issues that have caused their self esteem to drop or feel themselves unworthy of any praise. For whatever reasons your self esteem may falter, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem. Think of self esteem like a house, if you build a stunning house on a poor foundation, the entire structure will crumble. However, if you take steps to ensure the foundation is strong and capable of holding anything, the process may be slow, but your self esteem will be built soundly.

Many individuals look for help for their low self esteem in books or seminars. The number of available options on the market is phenomenal, and you are sure to find one on a topic that deals with your specific issues. Check out your local library or book store and explore their "self help" section for a book that you may find helpful. It is quite unlikely you will find the answers to all your problems in a book, but you may find it helpful to know others are in your same boat and you are certainly not alone. Additionally, you may wish to seek professional help in your quest to boost your self esteem. Often, speaking with a qualified individual can help you determine the root of your problem and the necessary path you should take for the rebuilding process. Perhaps your problems dates back to childhood, or maybe it has recently developed. Whatever the case, a professional will be able to best determine your next step.

A main factor in self esteem is negativity. Negative thoughts can erode your confidence and crumble your self esteem. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation, try your best to remedy the problem. Often, individuals in an abusive relationship have their self esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly berates them and questions their worth. Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self esteem with colleagues or bosses finding fault with your work. Maybe you have a friend who is consistently negative, always accompanied by clouds of doom and gloom. Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity will help you regain your self esteem. Strive to surround yourself with positive people. If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you may wish to join a support group. Similarly, there are support groups available for individuals with self image issues. These groups will allow you to meet other individuals like yourself and provide a forum for you to share your hopes and achievements.

However you choose to begin building your self esteem, do so today! Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while. You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self esteem slipping. Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

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Anthony White: I am always thirsty for knowledge & eager to share it. Please visit me at http://zenblanco.blogspot.com & http://atraffic.blogspot.com or check out my favorite online earning opportunity at: http://www.CashMoney4You.com/pips.html
You may reprint this article, provided that no changes are made and this resource box is included.
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Truth

Seek truth. Follow it. Reflect on it. Become it. Then forget it. Only then can you live it.

How To Overcome Boredom

By Fatimah Musa

Being bored is a state of mind when you are fed up and sick of what’s going on or the lack of activity around you. Complacency also contributes to feeling bored. Boredom becomes a great concern when it results in procrastination, indecision and feeling listless and jaded.

The best way to avoid feeling bored is to make your life interesting by not sticking to too many routines. Another way is by making daily progress in everything that you do. You need to pay attention to you thoughts and daily activities and find ways not to submit yourself to drudgery and taking things for granted.

Here are a few tips to overcome boredom.

Change your thoughts.

Your thoughts affect your behavior. By changing your mind about the meaning of your emotion and experiences, you will generate a different attitude.

Get inspired with powerful long-range goals.

Powerful goals keep you inspired. You can’t feel bored at the same time when you are motivated to build a life.

Fire up your imagination.

Create mental images to stimulate your thoughts. Visualize where you want to be and what you want to become. Use your imagination to experience a situation that you want to happen in your life. The wonderful thing about imagination is you can create anything you wish to experience.

Go through some motions.

Change your physiology. Go for a walk or do something physically outrageous. Write down 10 things you can do and start something from your list to overcome your inertia.

Journal your feelings and thoughts.

One of the ways to become aware of what triggers your boredom is to question yourself and take a hard look at it. Observe and write down your feelings and thoughts for a week and at the end of it, reflect on them.

Create curiosity.

Create your curiosity on what’s happening around and inside you. You find life boring because of the repetition or a pattern of some habits or activities. Try to look at and do them differently and get yourself fascinated with other options and possibilities.

Find something exciting, stimulating and entertaining.

Read, hear, watch or do something stimulating, exciting, and entertaining. Go out, see and experience new things.

Avoid boring people and situations.

Get away from people and situations that bore you. You can’t just walk out of a relationship but you can give yourself some space to do things that interest and motivate.

About the Author: Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes to help people become aware that any future success starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com or read more articles at http://www.about-personal-growth.com/personal-growth-articles.html

Source: www.isnare.com

Christmas All Year Long

Around the holidays, unless you are near a shopping mall, people try to be a little extra courteous, giving and kind. Such virtues should not only be seen around the holidays, carry them through out the year. Find something good in each and every one of the days of the year, and share it with others in the form of a smile or some other generous way.

Happy Holidays to all,
Anthony

How To Make Use Of Your Alone Times

By Fatimah Musa

Many people dread the times when they are left alone. They feel a sense of emptiness or boredom. They start to look out for things to do or people to talk to. Some get into habits like shopping, eating, watching too much television or anything else to "kill the time."

Anytime is a good time to observe your moment to moment existence. But your alone times give you the chance to look deeper and notice the stimulus that cause the circumstances that you have created.

Alone times are actually what you may need to cure your dysfunctional feelings and behaviors.

How to make use of your alone times.

Watch what is going on inside you.

The noise that is going around you daily makes it difficult to become aware of what is actually going on internally. When you are alone and there is no distraction, you can sit and watch your feelings and thoughts. You are able to see those internal pictures that your mind is showing and the voices that is going back and forth in your head.

Being able to do this regularly will show you that your experiences in life are the results of what you see and hear inside. You can then change your external situations by changing the pictures and voices deliberately that have formed your beliefs and behaviors.

Watch those things existing and happening outside.

When you watch other people doing things, you will notice that they do things and act in ways that produce certain outcomes. You will hear voices that inspire as well as those that put themselves or others down. You will witness how people treat each other.

Watching nature and life itself should instill gratitude and awe. Regardless of what is happening around, the sun still rises and sets each day. The seasons come and go. Flowers blossom, and then wither and new ones will sprout. And there’s nothing you can do to change that.

Log your thoughts, feelings and observations in your journal.

The alone times are great moments to log your internal and external thoughts and observations. This is the time to check and measure your productivity and activities over a period of time to see whether you are making progress.

You can use this opportunity to reevaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Check on your goals too and check out what you have accomplished. If you have not written your goals down, it is about time that you do so.

Just Be.

At times, just sit down quietly and focus on your breath. Don’t resist and fight any thoughts or feelings. Redirect and refocus to your breathing with each inhalation and exhalation. It relaxes and quiets your mind. In your daily world of chaos and stress, you may need this time to find peace within.

About the Author: Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes to help people become aware that any future success starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com or read more articles at http://www.about-personal-growth.com/personal-growth-articles.html

Source: www.isnare.com

Being Happy

In youth we are happy for no reason at all, in age we pretend to be happy for millions of reasons.

Master Your Beliefs, Master Your Emotions

By Steve Davis

Joe makes a comment and you suddenly feel a rush of energy. Your face flushes and your knuckles whiten as you begin squeezing the edge of the table for dear life. Some part of you knows that this feeling is not proportionate to Joe's comment or intention, but something was triggered in you nonetheless, and you're ready to bite his head off.

To be effective as a friend, spouse, significant other, co-worker, manager, leader, or whatever role you're playing at the moment, learning to manage your feelings is a critical step toward living a happy, successful, and fulfilled life.

Managing your feelings doesn't mean that you repress them. It means that you become aware of what's going on inside of you, own your feelings as your own, heed the message that they have for you, and act responsibly.

What is emotional mastery? Emotions are often described as energy in motion. They become problems only when we judge them as wrong, bad, or inappropriate. When we let our emotions run us, we miss the message that they carry. When we stuff them down for fear of what they might cause us to do, they simply lie in wait to emerge with a vengeance later on. Emotional mastery is the ability to process our emotions so that we receive their message and use their energy for appropriate action.

Our emotions are a reflection of our beliefs about life events. For example, if you believe that you are your work and you suddenly lose your job, you are likely to feel an incredible amount of fear, as you perceive your very survival to be at stake. If you repress this fear, you'll probably experience anger or rage and at some point, you will likely lash out at whoever s available.

If on the other hand, you are a person who views your job simply as one aspect of your life, and you know that your inherent value lies in your unique skills and qualities, then your feelings and response to losing your job will probably be a whole lot different. You may just view this loss as an opportunity to explore a whole new path for yourself.

The bottom line here is this: how you feel in any situation corresponds exactly with what you believe about yourself and the situation. Master your beliefs, and you'll master your emotions.

Knowing that you can change how you feel simply by changing how you think about each experience is a powerful concept. If you feel upset about something, ask yourself, "How can I reinterpret this event in a such a way that I can feel good or at least OK about it?" If you have a bill you can't pay for example, instead of getting upset, decide that this is an opportunity to redesign your financial life. Ask for help, develop a plan, and use your energy to get moving on it.

How you think about your emotions adds another layer. We often give ourselves a double whammy when we get upset about feeling upset. Here are some positive ways to interpret the purpose of our basic emotions, set down by Peter McWilliams in his book, "Do It."

- Fear is the energy to do your best in a new situation.

- Guilt is the energy for personal change-it is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change.

- Unworthiness keeps us on track--just as we can have anything we want, we can't have everything we want. So too, we are worthy of anything we want, but we may not be worthy of everything we want.

- Hurt feelings are a reminder of how much we care.

So how can you use this information in your life? I suggest that you examine any beliefs you hold around emotions and the situations that trigger them.

Begin to cultivate present moment awareness as your emotions arise. Just notice them and look at them, not as good or bad, but simply with curiosity, and with the question, what's this energy for and how do I choose to use it?

Practice. Begin the practice of observing emotions when they arise and identify any judgments you might have about them.

Focus instead on listening to the message they hold for you. Then, act on this message by expressing the emotion in a positive fashion.

Copyright 2003. All rights reserved.

About the Author: Steve Davis, M.A., M.S., is a Facilitator's Coach, Infoprenuer, and free-lance human, helping facilitators, organizational leaders, educators, trainers, coaches and consultants present themselves confidently, access their creativity, empower their under-performing groups, enhance their facilitation skills, and build their business online and offline. Does leading or participating in groups frustrate you? Subscribe to the free weekly ezine for group workers at http://www.masterfacilitatorjournal.com/ezine.html. Contact Steve at mailto:steve@facilitatoru.com.

Source: www.isnare.com

Eternity

If you are happy to ponder eternity then your happiness will never end.

What Story Are You Enacting?

By Steve Davis

How much of your life is directed from the foundation of unexamined mythology? What if we are all enacting some sort of story in our lives?

Now what do I mean by story? I mean that we have some vision, set of ideas, or beliefs about ourselves that define us as a central character, in what could be called a "myth" or "story" that we're living out. All of the elements of the story have been either passed down as part of our culture or upbringing, intuited, or simply fabricated in our own minds. We then go about enacting our stories as if they they were true, thus embodying the script from which we live our lives.

So now you may say, "yes I can certainly buy that, I'm very well aware that we are a product of our own thoughts and beliefs. So what's the big deal?"

The big deal is this: The vast majority of us don't know that we're enacting a story. We actually think this is real life that we're living! (see the movie Matrix for a great metaphor). By real life, I mean that we're approaching life based on a set of assumptions that aren't necessarily backed by good evidence.

So when you don't know that you're enacting a story, you are completely at its mercy, with little control over the role you play and the course your life takes.

Now to make matters even more complicated, in addition to enacting our own individual stories, we are also part of stories which are bigger than us. We are enacting stories within our relationships with individuals, and the groups we are involved in, such as our families, work groups, community organizations, our countries, etc. Even our civilization itself is acting out a story, much of which we may not even be aware of.

Humans tend to enact whatever story we choose to adopt as our own, and will settle for the best one available. If we don't take the time to create a better one, we'll continue enacting our current story, even if it isn't working for us.

What story are you enacting and is it working for you?

Here is a simple exercise to uncover your current story:

1. Discover your story.

First, assume you are in fact enacting a story - if this is a new concept, it certainly won't hurt to give it a chance. Based on this assumption, uncover the elements of your story. Be a detective, hunting for clues. Look at all your behaviors and describe them piece by piece, until the "whole" story emerges.

2. Evaluate your story.

Now assess your story. Are you happy with it? What would you change, remove, or add to this story to make it more satisfying? Re-write your story - become the author of the grandest story you can envision - a story that truly inspires.

3. Tell your story.

Share your new story with important people in your life. Talk about your specific role in the story and why it appeals to you. The more you talk about your new story, the more it will become a part of you.

4. Rehearse your new role.

Commit to living your new role in some way. Make at least one change that is in alignment with the new story.

5. Explore how your new story fits into the bigger story of your family, organization, corporation, country, and world. What contribution can your new individual story can make to your bigger story? Explore any obstacles presented by this bigger story and refine yours if necessary so that it isn't overpowered or subverted by the bigger one.

If you are a facilitator, coach, consultant, trainer, etc, I encourage you to use this exersize to help you clients re-write their own stories.

Remember, you are the authors and you can write your story any way you wish. You're only limited by your imaginations!

Copyright 2003. FacilitatorU.com All rights reserved.

About the Author: Steve Davis, M.A., M.S., founder of http://www.facilitatoru.com, works with facilitators, trainers, leaders, coaches, and change agents to enhance their facilitation skills, empower their under-performing groups and present themselves confidently to a group. Are meetings killing you? Subscribe to Steve's free weekly ezine, Master Facilitator Journal, and receive the free report: This Meeting Sucks, I'm Taking Over... With Conscious Acts of Leadership: http://www.masterfacilitatorjournal.com/ezine.html

Source: www.isnare.com

The Value of a Smile

A smile costs nothing, and yet has so much value.

The 20-Minute Break

By Carol Solomon

I am reading a book recommended by a woman in my Small Group Coaching Program called "The 20-Minute Break", by Ernest Rossi.

This book is based on 2 decades of research testing on human performance. What the researchers found was that our bodies periodically give us physiological clues about how to stay energetic, healthy and productive.

This research describes the “ultradian rhythms”, which are the 90 to 120-minute cycles that most of our key mind-body systems follow. Our creativity, alertness, emotional balance, physical energy and appetites all follow a wave-like cycle of activity followed by a short period in which the body seeks rest and renewal.

Most of us neglect our body’s signs that we need to take a break. We push ourselves through clear signals such as diminished concentration and energy, often overriding them with stimulants such as caffeine or nicotine.

This pattern sets the stage for chronic stress, fatigue and overload of our systems.

For instance, here’s what Dr. Rossi says about the period between 3 and 4 pm. “Researchers have called this period the breaking point. After this point, the arc of our circadian consciousness, which has been on the ascendant, begins its downward curve.

The entire mind-body is reorienting from outer-world performance toward sleep, our inner world of nurturing, healing and restoration.”

How many of us are reaching for sugar and/or caffeine between 3 and 4 PM?

The answer, according to Dr. Rossi, is to start to recognize our body’s signals and honor them by taking 2 or 3 20-minute breaks during the day.

During this time, you can practice the long lost art of doing nothing. Just let your mind relax, float, drift or simply enjoy, allowing the body to direct its own healing and rejuvenation.

At most, you simply witness, quietly and objectively, whatever changes happen by themselves, without acting or reacting to them in any way.

The challenge of the 20-Minute Break is to actually use the 20 minutes for REST. Answering phone calls or email, or switching your attention to another project do not count.

To get the benefit, you actually have to REST. On the days that I have been able to do that, I have felt better, rejuvenated with an increased sense of energy and creative thought.

Although I did NOT want to interrupt my day, it was well worth the investment.

If you are unable to take 20 minutes during the day, the best thing you can do is to take a breather to get in touch with yourself.

Recognize that you are under stress and need rest, rejuvenation and recovery. Instead of indulging in sugar or some other addictive substance, see this as an opportunity to recognize your need and honor it in the most nurturing way.

About the Author: Carol Solomon, Ph.D., specializes in helping you lose weight and stop self-sabotage. “Lose Weight Now Stay Slim Forever," is a practical "how-to" manual for learning to lose weight without dieting. Free ezine, go to http://www.Lose-Weight-Now-Stay-Slim-Forever.com To stop binge eating, http://www.Stop-Binge-Eating.com 847-680-0272 tw@iconnect.net

Source: www.isnare.com

Look Inside

If you can't find joy in yourself how can you hope to find it in others?

Positive Ways To Deal With Anger & Frustration

By Aurelia M. Williams

"This is making me a headache!"

That lovely line above came out of my now 5yo's mouth when he was frustrated over the daunting task of trying to learn how to tie his shoes. He blurted the sentence out then tossed the sneaker across the room. I walked over to him and talked to him about his frustration (Heck, getting those loops just right is hard work -- smile). I explained to him that while it is OK to get angry and frustrated that there are proper ways to do it.

Anger is a completely natural response to frustration. Let's face it, life is filled with things that can become frustrating, and most of those things are totally out of our control. What we do control is how we deal with those issues. In this message, I wanted to touch on positive ways that we can deal with, express and release our anger and frustration in positive ways.

Think it out - When you begin to feel angry -- sit down, relax and then try to think about how you can solve the issue.

Talk it out - Talk to a friend, coach, counselor, or a church member. Expressing your anger by talking to someone about it is a great way to get the anger out.

Write it out - Keep a journal about your feelings. It really helps to get your feeling out of our head and heart and onto paper.

Let it out - Find a place that is secluded and SCREAM!! Yes, let it out - you can scream into a pillow, punch a pillow or stomp. Sometimes a good temper tantrum is in order.

Channel it out - Find some creative way to channel your feelings. Listen to music, paint, turn on the music and dance! There are many ways to creatively channel out anger.

Chill out - Try listening to calming music, taking in slow deep breaths, meditating or doing yoga.

Work it out - Do something physical. Get out and run, go to the gym or go for a brisk walk.

Please keep in mind that anger isn't always a bad emotion but sometimes the way we deal with our anger is bad. There are many times where anger can be good and is quite appropriate. At can be protection from allowing other people to manipulate or dominate us. It can also motivate us to take action when needed.

About the Author: Aurelia Williams, certified Personal Life Coach and owner of Real Life Coaching http://www.reallifecoaching.net and Real Life Solutions http://www.reallifesolutions.net She's the author of Journey To Joy http://www.reallifecoaching.net/ebook.shtml), an empowering and life changing eBook.

Source: www.isnare.com

Help Happiness Along

Happiness can not flourish amid the confusion and the clutter of a disorganized life.

Tips To Become Happier & More Empowered

By Aurelia M. Williams

In a search for happiness, many people look for it in other people and not within ourselves. Many people feel that things like money, a better job, better relationships..etc will make them happy. In reality, to find true contentment you must look inside yourself and learn to be your own best friend. That means you have to trust, love, and care for yourself just as you do the people you consider to be close to you.

Following are steps that you can incorporate into your life that will help you to feel more empowered and happy about yourself!

Begin to lift yourself up, not put yourself down. If you don't like something about yourself, work to change it. If you can't change it, simply accept it. Don't beat up on yourself with negative self-talk. You're not likely to change for the better when you fill yourself with negative thoughts.

Give yourself positive rewards. When you do something that you are proud of give yourself a small reward. Try not to wait for others to praise you because you may grow resentful if the praise doesn't come. Pat your own back, it is a great feeling that can stay with you for a long time.

Forgive yourself. I doubt that you would keep scolding a child over and over for making a mistake so don't do that to yourself. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness when you make a mistake. After that, work to figure out what lesson you can learn, and use it to make better choices the next time around.

Enjoy your successes. Most people can remember all of the details of depressing, painful or even embarrassing events that happened many years ago. What if you did the same thing with all of your wins? Try to remember all of the triumphs and accomplishments that you've made and keep that memory with you and think about it at least once a week.

Always remember to celebrate your wonderful qualities! You will soon discover that the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others - and the more others will be able to love you!

About the Author: Aurelia Williams, is a certified Personal Life Coach http://www.reallifecoaching.net who offers a free initial session and owner of Real Life Solutions http://www.reallifesolutions.net a Family Resource site that helps you lead an emotionally & physically healthier, more productive and less stressful life.

Source: www.isnare.com

Think Happy

Think Happy.
Act Happy.
Be Happy.

A simple formula, but it can work with practice.

Do You Really Like Yourself?

By Graham And Julie

When was the last time you asked yourself that question? Do I really like me? What is it about me that I like?

Most people spend their lives speculating whether other people like them: Does….like me? Am I attractive to ……? What have I done to upset…………

The upshot is you spend a considerable part of your life trying to please others. Trying not to offend others. Trying to keep the peace. No matter what.

Although you may well be successful using this method, the result is you spend most of your time doing what you think others would like. You are rarely effective.

Just think for a moment:

• How much of my day is spent trying to please others?

• How much time do I spend thinking I mustn’t say that?

Rather than try to make others fall in love with you how about falling in love with yourself. I don’t mean that in a vain, egotistical, self absorbed way where you’re always looking in the mirror and telling others how good you are. But, do you like being with yourself? Do you like the person in your body? If you met you on the street would you stop and talk to you. If you were in need of help would you stop and help you or would you quickly cross the road and avoid you?

Go on Be honest with yourself. Do you like the person in your body?

You see, when we fall in love with ourselves. When we can accept ourselves for what we are. When we know all our faults, flaws and blemishes as well as our agreeable, and delightful qualities and still want to live with ourselves then we have a chance.

When you love yourself it shows in the way you look. Your eyes sparkle, your face looks happy, you smile a lot. You feel confident. You feel comfortable. You don’t try to second guess what someone is going to say to you. You feel calm and at one with yourself. In fact, in a nutshell, you are someone everyone would like to get to know.

You don’t have to worry about pleasing others. You don’t have to worry about doing the right thing. People like what they see and gravitate towards you because the language of your eyes has changed.

All you have to do is be honest with yourself. Of course you will make mistakes. Of course not everyone will like what they see. But if you focus on being honest with yourself, on working with the real you, then gradually, as you gain more and more experience, there will be less and less mistakes.

There is a little secret. The secret is; as you become more and more at one with yourself, you become more and more composed and unruffled when you are with others.

But the best bit is: as you feel less anxious, less tense and peaceful you become happier.

Yes, you got it. The more contented you are with yourself. The more peaceful you become, the Happier you become. And it is that peace and happiness that shows on your face and then attracts others to you.

See, it’s simple. All you have to do is like the real you.

Stop thinking to yourself I mustn’t hurt that person. I don’t want to upset them. What can I do to keep them happy? Just focus on YOU.

In other words, stop banging your head against the wall, focus on the real you and do what’s best for you and watch your relationships improve.

Good Luck

Graham and Julie

www.desktop-meditation.com

About the Author: To improve your intuition, initiative and energy levels please go to:
http://www.desktop-meditation.com It’s free.

Source: www.isnare.com

Saying No

Why do we find it difficult to say no when we would be happier sometimes to do so?

If All You Have Is A Hammer Everything Starts To Look Like A Nail

By Graham And Julie

We were watching the film Mulholland Drive yesterday and it suddenly hit us like a bolt of lightening. How many times we misdiagnose a situation. How many times we carry on a path not knowing that our assumption have taken us miles off course.

It’s like playing golf and only knowing how to use three clubs and having to use them in every situation.

It’s like looking through a camera zoom lens instead of a wide angle.

It’s like blindly following another’s opinion.

The fact is that most of our lives are spent reusing the information collected in our formative years. Thus, when anything new enters our arena we immediately go to the past to try to make sense of it.

The outcome is: we each live an illusion. We each see our world through some really heavily tinted spectacles. We each act as though we are a hammer and everything that comes in front of us is a nail.

The problem is. IT DOESN’T WORK.

We were amazed how easily we fell into the trap. How easily we interpreted what was happening before our eyes and made it logical. How easily we searched for closure.

To make us comfortable we wanted to put things into a comfortable category. We wanted to place happenings in a box in the same way a librarian codes books for easy access. Ah! That goes in the family box. That is rude behaviour. That is unacceptable in public. That shows he is uneducated etc etc etc…

Yes, you could argue that this form of coding is important in life because it helps us get through life quickly.

BUT!!!

Why do we like to put ourselves and others into ‘psychological boxes’? What is it about us that we like to say we are this type of person or that? Why do we want to limit ourselves? Why do we want to sell ourselves short?

It’s like being a carpenter who only has a hammer in his toolbox. We are restricting ourselves beyond belief. Just imagine how restricting it would be if you only had a hammer in your toolbox? How can you get passionate about anything if all you are capable of is knocking the brains out of any information that comes your way?

How do you find out what you were brought onto this planet to do if all you can do is respond in the same way to whatever is put in front of you.

How do you develop and grow your children if all they see is the same behaviour irrespective of the problem posed.

How do you rise to the challenges of our society if all you do is apply the same reasoning even though it doesn’t fit?

As Howard Schatz. The famous New York dance photographer stated in one of his books:

“I told each dancer that when it was easy, it had probably been done before, probably many times. I explained that only when it was so hard that it was nearly impossible were we perhaps close to getting something unique and extraordinary.”

Is this why we like to categorise situations and people? We actually don’t like hard work.

Is it that we don’t like the pressure of being our true selves? Because to do that we have to stand out?

Is it that we can’t cope with being unique and extraordinary, so we just want to be similar and ordinary?

Is it that we are afraid of who we might be? Are we afraid that we can be successful? Afraid that if we admit to ourselves that we have talent we might have to do something with our lives?

Is it that we don’t really want to find out who we really are and what we are capable of?

We don’t know about you but we want to be unique, we want to find out and use our uniqueness. We want to be fulfilled. We want to find our energy source that is released when we are doing what we are intended to do. We want to be in the flow, as some writers describe it.

We have come to realise that what stops us from being in the flow all the time. What stops us from releasing our passion. What stops us from behaving naturally. What makes us waste energy.

FEAR.

Fear keeps us placing people and situations into categories.

Fear stops us from leading ourselves.

Fear stops us from letting go of the past.

Fear keeps our habitual patterns in place.

Being frightened and feeling second best stop us from finding our true selves.

Fear buries the natural me.

“A musician must make music, and artists must paint,
a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be”
(Maslow)

What about you?

Good Luck

Graham and Julie

About the Author: To improve your intuition, initiative and energy levels please go to:
http://www.desktop-meditation.com It’s free.

Source: www.isnare.com

Boredom

Why, when boredom can be removed by positive thought or action, is it so difficult to make the effort?

How Do You Deal With Adversity

By Deanna Mascle

"We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival."

~ Winston Churchill

I remember reading some time ago about a study of longevity in humans. There has been a large body of scientific research into the reasons why some people are long-lived but of course while various diets, health regimes, and regional or ethnic differences are often linked to living long it is a very difficult cause and effect relationship to determine because there are so many other variables involved. However the study I remember didn't spend as much time on health and diet as many others. The researchers spent time observing and interviewing a number of people who are living long lives to determine what common factors these very diverse people shared.

Do you know what the single largest factor they all shared -- the trait that the researchers determined played the largest role in their long lives? It wasn't a specific food or faith or daily activity. It was simply the way these folks dealt with adversity.

The ways that these folks dealt with adversity did vary. Some had great religious faith, others had an unquenchable zest for life, and others had a great determination that they could and would overcome and difficulty.

If you think about it then this does seem to make sense. After all, the longer you live then the more adversity you must overcome. Human life is fraught with adversity -- both physical and emotional -- although each person's experience varies greatly. In order to survive adversity, to overcome loss and difficulty, and to succeed in life a person must have inner resources to draw from.

As Oliver Wendell Holmes says: "If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it."

Most of us have seen the evidence of this even if we have never formulated a scientific theory about it. We have seen the cancer patient diagnosed and then does not even live out the time doctors predicted. We have seen the heart patient diagnosed who far outlives expectations -- by months and then years. What makes the difference between these two groups of people? I believe it has to be a will to live, some inner resource, that one group possesses and the other does not.

A few weeks ago my Uncle Carl's left hand was amputated after being injured in an accident with a log splitter. It was devastating to those who love him and certainly no one would have blamed him for becoming depressed and grieving.

But Carl hasn't chosen that path. Instead he is focused on what he can do, not on what he can't. And if he discovers something that he can't do one-handed then he puts his considerable problem-solving abilities to work on a solution. He isn't simply reacting to a tragic accident but proactively seeking solutions.

He is not a saint. He complains about the pain and discomfort of the healing process and is sometimes frustrated by the trial-and-error process of his problem-solving, but he is not wasting time feeling sorry for himself. He knows he has been given many gifts and those gifts include the ability to solve problems and overcome adversity.

I can only hope when my time comes to face adversity that I can meet it with as much energy, determination, and confidence.

About the Author: Deanna Mascle is an inspirational freelance writer. You can find more inspiration at http://InspirationByDawggone.com and her inspirational ezine http://WordsOfInspirationOnline.com.

Source: www.isnare.com

Recognize an Opportunity to Grow

Don't resist change, use the opportunity and grow with the situation.

Universal Law Series - Law Of Correspondence

By Tony Davies

If your life is not the way you want it, don't blame the people around you or your circumstances. Look inside and know that you and you alone have created your reality!

This is the last of seven articles in the series covering the core seven Universal Laws. The focus of this article is the seventh Law – the Law of Correspondence.

Law of Correspondence

The Law of Correspondence tells us that our outer world is nothing more than a reflection of our inner world – as within, so without.

This is an extraordinary principle and really says that our current reality is a mirror of what is going on inside us. If our outer reality is unhappy, chaotic or unfulfilling it is a direct result of what is happening inside us. If we have low self-esteem, feel badly about ourselves or constantly feel anger, hatred or loathing, then our outer world will be a place of turmoil.

The truly sad thing is that it becomes a self-perpetuating situation – we feel badly about ourselves and our outer world is unhappy. The worse the outer world becomes, the worse we then feel about ourselves, which has a direct impact on our reality. To escape from this treadmill, it is critical to shift our paradigm.

Nothing in our outer lives can change without first making changes on the inside. In fact, the basis for all self-help is ‘change from the inside out!’ It does not matter one iota what we change on the outside, if we haven’t done the work to change on the inside. Our reality will continue to evolve so that it is a reflection of our inner beliefs and world.

In all cases, our outer world reflects our inner world in every way, shape and form. If we desire change in our outer world, we must first change our inner world – our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. Stated another way, our current situation is a direct result of the way we think. If we want to shift our paradigm, then we must change the way we think!

We have total and complete control over only one thing in life – our thinking. It is not until we change our thought patterns to focus on what it is we truly desire, that we can effect meaningful and lasting change. This is difficult for most people to accept, as blaming others for the things that are wrong in our lives has become common practice. Let’s face it – it is much easier on our egos to blame someone else for what is wrong in our lives, than it is to accept the responsibility!

The truly wonderful thing is that by taking control of our minds and thinking, we take control over all other aspects of our life. This is the key to personal happiness, freedom and peace of mind! By focusing exclusively on what it is that we truly desire, and by eliminating all thoughts of what we don’t want, we can begin to shape, mold and build our lives to our own specifications!
What You Can Do

There are three things that you can start doing immediately that will help you to begin to build the life you desire:

1. Take a hard and objective look at your current reality - career, relationships, health and financial situation. Ask yourself the question “How are my inner thoughts and attitudes being reflected in my outer world?”

2. Take full responsibility for whatever is happening in your life, be it good or bad. Begin today by making the choice to change your thinking.

3. Begin to visualize the world that you truly desire and focus your thoughts on this. Ask yourself the question “In order to achieve this ‘outer world’, what changes will I need to make internally?” Whatever the required changes, take action today to start making them!

Understanding the Law of Correspondence is the first step towards taking control of your life. If you want positive change, look inside first and remember:

Change the quality of your thoughts and you will change the quality of your life!
About the Author: Tony Davies is a Business Consultant as well as an Executive, Business & Personal Coach. An expert in the areas of Leadership and Personal Development, Tony helps clients to achieve more in life.
To find out how Tony can help move your business or your life forward, please visit his website at http://www.momentumbusiness.ca and contact him directly.

Source: www.isnare.com

Accept Your Limitations

Why do we insist on doing jobs that we don't feel qualified to do? Accept your limitations.

Happiness

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Some people believe that achieving happiness is the purpose of life, yet the pursuit of happiness often leads to unhappiness. This is because happiness is actually a consequence of a different life purpose – the pursuit of evolving our souls in our ability to love ourselves and others.

When achieving happiness is your goal, you might pursue this in three different ways:

1) You might pursue momentary pleasure, believing that your happiness is the same as pleasure. When this is your belief, you might pursue happiness through substances such as alcohol, drugs, nicotine, or food. Or you might pursue happiness through activities such as sex, spending or gambling.

2) If you believe that your happiness is attached to money and the outcome of things regarding money, you might pursue control over outcomes through spending most of your time working, as well as accumulating and managing money.

3) If you believe that your happiness is attached to people, you might pursue control over getting love, approval, attention, admiration, or acknowledgement.

While momentary pleasure feels good, it is just momentary. Which means that you need to keep on doing whatever you believe will bring you happiness, over and over. This is what creates addictions – the pursuit of what you believe will avoid pain and bring pleasure. The problem is that none of these pursuits bring deep and abiding happiness, because their affects are always momentary.

True happiness is not the result of DOING, but of a way of BEING. Rather than being a result of the momentary pleasures of the outside world, it is the result of your intention to evolve daily as a loving human being.

What does this mean?

This means that ongoing happiness is the result of choosing the spiritual path of kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance.

Yet it is not enough to express kindness and compassion toward others. Many have tried this and still end up feeling empty and angry when the deep happiness they desire continues to elude them.

The path toward happiness sarts with opening to learning about what is most loving and compassionate toward YOURSELF. You can have all the things that people believe will bring happiness – money, a good relationship, a family, work you enjoy – yet if you are critical and judgmental toward yourself instead of accepting and compassionate with yourself, you will not feel happy.

Imagine a child who seemingly has everything – tons of toys, the best schools, great vacations, lots of friends. But imagine that this child has parents who ignore him or her, or who are very critical, judgmental and controlling of him or her. This child will not be happy, no matter how many external things he or she has.

Imagine that this child is you – the feelings within you. How are you treating this child? How do you treat your feelings? Do you ignore your feelings and cover them over with substance or process addictions? Are you judgmental of yourself, constantly telling yourself that you are not good enough, that you are inadequate in some way?

Ignoring yourself or judging yourself will always lead to unhappiness, so matter how much you have in the external world or how loving you are to others. Until you decide to start treating yourself the way you want others to treat you, deep and abiding happiness will elude you. As long as you are treating yourself the way your parents may have treated you or themselves, you will continue to feel the emptiness and aloneness that comes from self-abandonment.

If you want to experience true happiness, then start to pay attention to your own feelings with a deep desire to learn about what you are doing or not doing that is causing your pain and unhappiness. Happiness will be the natural consequence of your willingness to take full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings, and learn about and take action regarding what truly brings you joy.

About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You” and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.

Source: www.isnare.com

Free Time

Too much freedom is a heavy burden. Learn how to use time effectively.

The Importance Of Rest And Relaxation

By Craig Rowe

Life is busy and it seems each year it just gets busier. Work, family, school, and other commitments just eat the day away and leave you with no time to sit back and relax. However, rest and relaxation is very important. In fact, getting enough rest is imperative to living a healthy lifestyle and when you do not relax and get enough sleep you are putting yourself at risk for illness as well as other side effects.

Side Effects of Not Getting Enough Rest

Believe it or not but the body needs enough rest each night to function properly. The amount of rest each individual needs every night differs, however the average adult needs approximately 7-8 hours of sleep each night to restore their body with the energy it needs to handle all of the demands of living each day. However, most individuals cut back on their sleep to pack more activities into their day. Unfortunately, this runs the body down allowing more viruses and diseases to attack the body because the immune system is not functioning as well as it should. Then, the individual gets sick and misses days or even weeks of all of those important activities. When you get enough rest your body runs as it should and your immune system is stronger and able to fight off infections more easily.

Also, when you don’t get enough rest you have difficult concentrating, thinking clearly, and even remembering things. You might not notice this at first or blame it on your busy schedule, but the more sleep you miss and rest you miss out on the more pronounced this symptoms will become.

In addition, a lack of rest and relaxation can really work a number on your mood. It is a scientific fact that when individuals miss out on good nightly rest their personality is affected and they are generally more grumpy, less patient, and snap easier. As a result, missing out on rest to fit in all those activities might make you a bear to be around, which is not much fun at all.
So, the next time you think it is a good idea to stay up late to complete a task or hang out with friends, think again. Of course, one night is not going to hurt you, but night after night of not getting enough rest really will.

About the Author: SearchArticles.net features over 13,000 articles, tips and information on a variety of subjects. More articles on self improvement and time management can be found at www.SearchArticles.net

Source: www.isnare.com

Routine

Why do we insist on the same unhappy routine? Sometimes a little change in life can provide happiness--the newspaper you read, the color of your bath towel, a different route to work, or a weekend away by yourself.

Be Your Own Best Friend

By Lance Beggs

How do you be your own best friend? It’s simple.

Be someone you love to spend your time with.

Be someone you’d love to just hang out with on a Saturday night.

Be the first person to congratulate yourself whenever you succeed.

And be the first person to tell yourself that “it’s all ok” when things go wrong.

Celebrate your happy moments with a smile.

And give yourself an even bigger smile whenever you’re feeling down.

Spoil yourself with gifts.

Shower yourself with love.

Enjoy the time that you spend by yourself. And relax. Take yourself out to your favourite restaurant, or prepare your favourite meal and dine at home. Drink your favourite drinks. Play your favourite music. Watch your favourite movie. Soak in the tub, to the gentle flicker of candlelight. Or just sit back on your couch with a nice cold beer after a hard day at work. Don’t forget to smile.

Love everything about the way you look. If you can’t love everything then find just one thing, and focus on it. Love that part of you, and remind yourself all day every day. In time, the boundaries of this love will expand to include your whole body.

Tell yourself how great you are. How smart you are. How beautiful you are.

Encourage yourself to improve your life, in all areas. Be your biggest supporter. Be your own cheer squad.

Love yourself.

Forgive yourself for all your past wrong-doings, and forgive yourself for all your future mistakes.

Forgive yourself for not being perfect.

Forgive all others for the hurt they’ve given to you. And forgive yourself for receiving that hurt.

Believe in yourself. Believe in the goodness in your heart. Believe in your ultimate perfection.

Be grateful for who you are. Be grateful for all that is good about you. Be grateful for the challenges you faced in the past, because they have led you to become the person you are today. And be grateful for the challenges you will face in the future, for they will help you grow.

In fact, just be grateful.

And love yourself.

That’s how you become your own best friend. Simple, isn’t it.

About the Author: Lance Beggs is the author of "How to be Happy Now". His mission is to help others live a life of meaning, love and happiness! Subscribe to his FREE ezine at http://www.HowToBeHappyNow.com

Source: www.isnare.com

The Eye of Beauty

Open your eyes to the beauty of the everyday, the mundane, and the ordinary.

It's All Up To You (Nobody Is Coming To Save You!)

By Tony Davies

Everyone is searching for that elusive magic bullet which will lead to a better life. While a better life is absolutely possible for everyone, it must start from within!

As painful as this realization may be, it is absolutely true. Wherever we are in our lives and whatever we are doing, it is because we have put ourselves there. It is our choices and decisions (either conscious or not) that have brought together circumstances resulting in our current reality. If we want to change our reality, then we must begin to make different choices.

It’s an easy thing to say, but much more difficult to actually accomplish. Why?

The fact of the matter is that most of the choices we make are not actually choices at all, but are based upon conditioned responses! The vast majority of people (estimates range as high as 95%) do not actually choose their responses; they simply react to outside stimuli. For absolute proof of this, simply take a drive in a large urban area and watch for the incidents of road rage! "Flipping the bird" at another driver is nothing more than a conditioned response - and is a sure sign that the driver is not self-aware.

The old adage that “we are a product of our environment” is undoubtedly based in fact – as our parents, teachers, clergy and other role models acted, thus do we act. Children learn from observing the actions of their role models, rendering the expression “do as I say, not as I do” totally irrelevant. It is this principle that explains, among other things, why children of abusive parents often become abusers themselves.

So how does one break the cycle of stimulus / reaction? First, by recognizing that we, as individuals, are the problem: only through taking responsibility for our actions can we come to the crossroads and begin to take charge of our lives. Once we have made this leap, then the answer is easy (although not necessarily easy to accomplish), and can be summed up in one simple word – THINK!

Science shows us that there is a gap of approximately .25 seconds between stimulus and response. Before reacting to something, it is essential that we take that fraction of a second to stop and think about what we are seeing, how we are feeling and what an appropriate response would be. Then and only then, are we in a position to make a true choice with our response. In almost all cases, a chosen response will be different from a reactive response.

In this way we make choices that are congruent with our own values and principles and without a doubt, over time, the results will be extraordinary! We begin to feel in control, good things begin to happen and we assume the role of masters of our destiny. We feel better about ourselves and unlock the potential to manifest all of the things that we truly want in our lives. It is at this point that we invoke Universal Law and all of our hopes and dreams become possible!

So stop playing the victim and complaining about how difficult things are. Quit blaming others for everything that is wrong in life – bosses, parents, siblings and, yes, even lousy drivers among others, make easy targets - but they are not the problem! Take charge of your feelings, responses and thinking and most of all accept responsibility for your life.

No one is coming to save you - only you can improve your lot in life; accepting responsibility and making different choices are the first steps!

About the Author: Tony Davies is a Business & Personal Coach, as well as an expert in Leadership and Personal Development. Tony's extensive business experience along with a passion, and gift, for personal development have enabled him to reach a broad range of clients. To find out how Tony can help you, please visit his website at http://www.momentumbusiness.ca.

Source: www.isnare.com

Face Your Anger

Why do we seem so incapable of facing up to the things that anger us?

Universal Law Series - Law Of Attraction

By Tony Davies

Our thoughts, emotions and feelings act as a powerful magnet, attracting circimstances into our lives. Whether these circimstances are positive or negative, is completely dependent on how we think!

This is the sixth of seven articles in our continuing series covering the core seven Universal Laws. The focus of this article is the sixth Law – the Law of Attraction.

Law of Attraction

Simply stated, the Law of Attraction says that we attract into our lives, that upon which we place our dominant thoughts. In other words, if we focus predominantly on abundance, solutions and positive outcomes then that is exactly what we will attract back into our lives. Nice!

There is a dangerous flip side to this law however - if we focus on lack, problems and negative outcomes, then that is exactly what we will attract.

You may have heard of Earl Nightingale. Known today as the father of modern day self-help, Earl, while working in the insurance business back in the mid 1950’s, cut a record called ‘The Strangest Secret’. The purpose of this record was to provide some training for his staff while he was traveling on business. Earl’s strangest secret was simply this:

“We become what we think about most of the time!”

This ‘secret’ aligns perfectly with the Law of Attraction and acts as a constant reminder that we must learn to control our thoughts. Truthfully, our own thoughts are the only things in life over which we have complete control. The challenge is to keep them in control and not let them run rampant with negativity.

For an example of the power of the Law of Attraction, you need look no further than your own life. Have you ever had one of those days, where everything seems to go wrong? From the cold shower to the burnt toast to the traffic ticket on the way to the office, to the grouchy boss, to the difficult customer, we have all experienced those days. It all starts with the way we think. Our thought patterns attract the first negative experience. This experience then puts us in a negative frame of mind which works to attract further “bad” situations. The more we focus on the “bad day” we are having, the worse things get!

The solution is to change our frame of reference. Take the negative emotions and change them to be either positive or at least neutral. Look for the lesson in every situation. Learning to laugh at ourselves is another great way to change our reference point. If we break the cycle of negativity, things will begin to turn around almost immediately.

What You Can Do

There are two things that you can start doing immediately that will help you to harness the awesome power of the Law of Attraction:

1. Ask yourself the question: “Do I focus on Lack or Abundance (or stated another way, ‘Am I problem-focused or solution-focused”)? If you answered, ‘Lack / Problems’ then set out to immediately change your frame of reference. Change your habits and thought patterns to be more positive and solution-focused.

2. Take full responsibility for whatever is happening in your life, be it good or bad. You have attracted the good as well as the bad, so taking responsibility will allow you to make the choice to change your thinking.

Positive thinking on it’s own will not solve all of your problems, however it is one of a series of things that we all have the power to implement which will get us on the path to leading the life we want.

About the Author: Tony Davies is a Business Consultant as well as an Executive, Business & Personal Coach. He is an expert in the areas of Leadership and Personal Development and in integrating these two, seemingly different, disciplines. To find out how Tony can help move your business or life forward, please visit his website at http://www.momentumbusiness.ca.

Source: www.isnare.com

Believe

I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?

--John Lennon

Universal Law Series - The Law Of Expectation

By Tony Davies

This is the fifth of seven articles in our continuing series covering the core seven Universal Laws. The focus of this article is the fifth Law – the Law of Expectations.

Law of Expectations

Simply stated, the Law of Expectations tells us that whatever one expects, with confidence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When one expects with confidence that good things will happen, they usually will. If, on the other hand, one expects a negative outcome to a situation, then the outcome will usually be negative.

Our expectations play a key role in our own outcomes and they also have a remarkable effect on the people around us. What we expect from those around us determines our attitude toward them more than any other factor. In turn, the people around us tend to reflect our attitudes right back at us - whether the expectations and attitudes are positive or negative, good or bad.

Dr. Robert Rosenthal of the University of California – Riverside, has spent more than 40 years studying the idea that one’s expectations for the behavior of another, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. His years of experimentation show this to be true. In his landmark book, “Pygmalion in the Classroom”, Rosenthal tells of case after case where teachers were told that a student, or sometimes a whole class, was extremely bright and was predicted to make a quantum leap in academic performance in the coming year. Even though the students were randomly chosen from the school population at large, provided the teacher believed that the student or students were exceptional and expected them to excel, the students performed at much higher levels than other students in the same or similar classes, and vastly better than could have been predicted by previous grades or behavior.

The Arbinger Institute (http://www.arbinger.com) has published a terrific book called “Leadership and Self Deception – Getting out of the Box”. While the book focuses on developing superior leadership skills through being true to one’s self, they talk a lot about the way we view others and the way we expect others to act – based on our own internal prejudices. They refer to this as “being inside the box in how we view others.” It is not until we choose to view others as they really are (i.e. human beings with valuable experiences, viewpoints and inputs) that we will be able to connect at a deeper level and achieve higher degrees of understanding and communication. In other words, it is not until our expectations of others change that we can change our own experiences with them.

Take a moment to think about your own expectations – of yourself and those around you. Your expectations exert a powerful influence on people and events, for good or for bad, so be extremely careful!

What You Can Do

There are a few things that you can start doing immediately that will help you to harness the awesome power of the Law of Expectations:

1. Always expect the best! Assume the very best of intentions on the part of those around you. There is no better place to start than home. Tell your spouse and children on a regular basis that you believe in them, that you think they are wonderful, that you love them and that you are proud of them.

2. Practice these same behaviors with your staff and coworkers. The very best managers, entrepreneurs, and salespeople are "high expectations" people.

3. Expect the best of yourself. Focus on your unlimited potential and imagine that you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Imagine that your greatest moments lie ahead and that everything that has happened to you up to now has merely been a preparation for the great things that are yet to come.

There is no mystery to achieving success - it is available to all of us. One need only be aware of, understand and, most importantly, live in accordance with Universal Law! Through expecting the best of yourself and others, you can attain the levels of success that you truly want!

About the Author: Tony Davies is a Business Consultant as well as an Executive, Business & Personal Coach. He is an expert in the areas of Leadership and Personal Development and in integrating these two, seemingly different, disciplines. To find out how Tony can help you to move your business and your life forward, contact him through http://www.momentumbusiness.ca.

Source: www.isnare.com

Challenge

Why do we get so unhappy about having too much to do? Look on every challenge as a chance to prove yourself.

Universal Law Series - The Law Of Belief

By Tony Davies

This is the fourth of seven articles in our continuing series on Universal Law. The focus of this article is the Law of Belief.

Law of Belief

The Law of Belief states that whatever you believe with feeling and conviction becomes your reality. It is not until you change your beliefs that you can begin to change your reality and your performance.

Another way to state this law is in the context of having faith. All of the religions of the world talk about one’s ability to always keep faith, as being a key to happiness and success. Whether you choose to follow religious dogma or not, the Law of Belief is something which can either help you achieve success or keep you from achieving it – depending upon whether you live in accordance with the law.

You have heard the doubters and the naysayers out there who always proclaim, “I’ll believe it when I see it!” In reality, it is the other way around; it is not until you believe it, that you will see it (no matter what “it” is)!

Self-limiting beliefs are perhaps the most detrimental of all thoughts, since they absolutely will keep you from the success that you may want, but don’t believe you can attain. There is an old saying that states,”whether you think you can or you can’t, your right!” This saying is completely congruent with the Law of Belief. Let me explain through the use of the following hypothetical situation:

You are up for a promotion at work. You have worked hard and feel you are ready, but do not believe with conviction that you will get the promotion. Perhaps you feel there are other candidates that are better or more qualified, or that you are indispensable in your current role (now there is a misguided belief!) or it may be some other negative thought pattern. If these are the beliefs that you are holding in your mind, it is almost guaranteed that you will not get the promotion. Why? Because your self-limiting beliefs will conspire to hold you back!

The Law of Belief, when understood and practiced, can help anyone to manifest those things in life that they truly want. The trick is that you need absolute clarity on your objectives; a solid plan to get you there and then must believe that you are destined to achieve them. As time passes, you must continuously reinforce this belief in your own mind.

One of the greatest challenges is to persevere and maintain focus on your goals, even when faced with seemingly insurmountable setbacks or obstacles. The interesting thing in these circumstances is that we tend to observe the world from a very narrow point of view - which is that obstacle are negative. In fact, obstacles help us to grow and can be positive! Sometimes things go awry and it isn’t until much later that we discover that, whatever the setback was, it was there for good reason. We learn and become stronger from the experience.

By maintaining faith, by continuing to live in accordance with the Law of Belief, we are able to achieve our goals, although the path may be somewhat different than we had originally thought! If however, we give up at the first sign of trouble, in other words, our faith or belief fail us, then we can never hope to reach our goals.

If you can learn to persevere in the face of all obstacles, then eventually you will create the reality that you desire.

What You Can Do

There are two action exercises, which you can put in place immediately, to help you in this area:

1. Begin to believe today, that you are destined to be successful in whatever areas you desire. Get very clear and focused on your true desires, make plans to achieve them and then believe, with absolute conviction, that you will achieve them. The universe will conspire to help you achieve it – once you believe it!

2. Get into the habit of acting as though you have already accomplished your goals and are the success you want to be. Your new behaviours will influence your beliefs, which in turn will help you to manifest your desires!

There is no mystery to achieving success - it is available to all of us. One need only be aware of, understand and, most importantly, live in accordance with, Universal Law! The first step is in beginning to believe that you will attain the levels of success that you truly want!

About the Author: Tony Davies is a Business Consultant as well as a Business and Personal Coach. He is an expert in the areas of Leadership and Personal Development and in integrating these two, seemingly different, disciplines. To find out how Tony can help you or your business, please visit his website at http://www.momentumbusiness.ca and call him directly.

Source: www.isnare.com

Negative Energy

Don't waste energy on negative emotions.

Universal Law Series - The Law Of Cause & Effect

By Tony Davies

This is the third of seven articles in our continuing series on Universal Law. The focus of this article is the Law of Cause & Effect. Based on the Socratic law of causality, this Law is so profound and powerful that it has been referred to as the “Iron Law of Human Destiny”.

Law of Cause & Effect:

The Law of Cause & Effect states that absolutely everything happens for a reason. All actions have consequences and produce specific results, as do all inactions. The choices we make are causes, whether they are conscious or unconscious, and will produce corresponding outcomes or effects. The Law works the same for everyone at all times.

Distilled down to the simplest possible terms, this Law states that for every outcome or effect in one’s life, there is a specific cause; poor diet and exercise habits result in poor health, constant and uncontrolled spending results in debt and money worries, not putting effort into your key relationships results in poor relationships and all of the associated issues.

The law can also be applied in the physical sense through examination of Sir Isaac Newton’s third Law of Motion, which states that “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If, for example, you were to hold your hand over a candle’s flame (the cause) the effect would be that your hand would burn and it would hurt! While this is an extreme example, it serves to illustrate the point very well.

Consider another situation which is specific to business. Imagine that your business is so successful you cannot keep up with the demand – a nice problem to have! Eventually, the levels of customer service deteriorate as your staff attempts to cope with the problem. You receive complaints and employee morale begins to suffer.

At this point, you have a choice to make – try to muddle through with the existing situation or hire more people. This is a difficult decision as there are many unknowns when hiring – will you get the right person, will he / she be part of the solution or part of the problem, what will happen to your cash flow etc.

Whichever decision you make becomes the cause – either you hire or don’t. The effect is the result of the decision. If you hired someone, there should be some relief for your existing staff, and customers should become happier with your service (providing of course, you hired the right person and then invested to train them properly). If the decision was to not hire, the effect would likely be dissatisfied, and eventually, lost customers and potentially lost employees as well – unless you can find another solution (cause) to implement (process re-engineering etc.). This is a recipe for disaster which could easily see the business fail altogether – the ultimate effect.

The same holds true with your personal relationships. If you treat the important people in your life with respect, love, compassion, dignity and honesty (cause), you will experience loving, solid relationships – which lead to happiness, fulfillment and peace of mind (effect).

Making It Work For You:

The truly wonderful thing about this law is that by definition then, we should be able to manifest that which we truly want (the effect) simply by exerting the same causes that others before us have exerted and been successful. Let me explain:

If you have a desire to be a successful and highly paid businessperson in your chosen field, then you should be able to look back and study what made others, before you, successful. What books did they read, courses did they study, beliefs did they hold, actions did they take?

If you were to emulate the things they did to be successful, you would achieve the same results over a period of time. If, over time, this does not occur, it is likely because there is something different in what you were doing – some vital piece of information that is missing.

What You Can Do:

There are three action exercises, which you can put in place immediately, to help you get more of what you want:

1. Determine the Cause & Effect relationships in the areas in which you want improvement or success. Identify the specific things you will need to do in order to get the results that you desire.

2. Take action! Make the decision to focus on, and do, the things that other successful people have done in those areas. Half the battle is taking action. It is your ability to actually begin that will set you apart from the majority of the population.

3. Persevere. If you take action and do the things that others have done, you will eventually get the desired results. Rome was not built in a day and it has taken you a lifetime to get into the position in which you now find yourself. Success takes time, so if it doesn’t seem to be working immediately, don’t give up! Stay focused, analyze your causes to ensure you are doing the right things; tweak your approach if necessary – you will get the desired results!

There is no mystery to achieving success - it is available to all of us. One need only be aware of, understand and live in accordance with Universal Law!

About the Author: Tony Davies is a Business Consultant and Business & Personal Coach. He is an expert in the areas of Leadership and Personal Devleopment, with more than 25 years experience. To find out how Tony can help move your business and your life forward, please visit his website at http://www.momentumbusiness.ca

Source: www.isnare.com

Honesty

Being honest with others can make us happy, yet we are often not honest with ourselves.

Discovering The Laws Of The Universe

By Tony Davies

Have you ever had “one of those days” when absolutely everything goes wrong? Have you ever wondered why some people are successful, while others spend their entire lives struggling? Do you ever get the feeling that someone is out to get you because everything you touch goes wrong?

If you’re like most people, these thoughts do occur to you from time to time. But what is the answer to these questions? Is it a question of luck, could it be fate or is there something else going on here of which most people are unaware?

The answer is both all around us and within us, and is called Universal Law. Just like there are Natural Laws that govern nature (such as gravity), there are other Laws which govern all that happens in the universe. From the spiritual to the physical to the mental, everything that happens does so according to Law.

You see, the Universe around us is a very orderly place in which nothing occurs by chance. Even though one cannot see the Laws, or hear them, smell them or taste them, they are there. They apply to everything and everyone – nothing is exempt.

Whether one is aware of these Laws or not, they still apply - just like the physical Law of Gravity. Even though one may not be aware of or understand Gravity, it always works. No matter who you are, if you decide to step off the top of a tall building, you will fall at an increasing rate of speed until you reach terminal velocity or until you impact the ground.

So what are these Laws and how do they work? There are literally dozens of Universal Laws that exist, but for ease of understanding, they can be distilled down to a main seven:

1. Law of Control

2. Law of Accident

3. Law of Cause & Effect

4. Law of Belief

5. Law of Expectation

6. Law of Attraction

7. Law of Correspondence

From these seven, everything else flows. The beauty of the Laws is that once one understands and lives in accordance with them, life becomes extremely simple.

Law of Control

The Law of Control simply states that we have high self-esteem and feel good about ourselves to the exact degree that we feel we are in control of our lives. Unfortunately, the majority of the population does not live according to the Law of Control, but rather by its inverse, the Law of Accident. The truth of the matter is that every one of us is in total control of our life, but until one takes the step to determine that they are personally responsible for what happens to them, then they cannot help but live by Accident.

Law of Accident

This Law states that we feel badly about ourselves and have low self-esteem to the degree that we feel events and circumstances control our lives. In other words, we are the victims of whatever else happens around us. If good things happen, then we benefit, but if bad things happen, we play the victim.

Law of Cause & Effect

This Law is also known as the Iron Law of Human Destiny because it is so profound and powerful. Simply stated, the Law of Cause & Effect says that everything happens for a reason. All actions have consequences, as do all inactions. Distilled down to the simplest possible terms, this law states that for every effect in one’s life, there is a specific cause. The law can also be applied in the physical sense through examination of Sir Isaac Newton’s third Law of Motion, which states that “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If, for example, you were to hold your hand over a candle’s flame (the cause) the effect would be that your hand would burn and it would hurt!

The truly wonderful thing about this law is that by definition then, we should be able to manifest that which we truly want (the effect), simply by exerting the same causes that others before us have exerted and been successful.

Law of Belief

The Law of Belief states that whatever you believe with feeling and conviction becomes your reality. It is not until you change your beliefs that you can begin to change your reality and your performance.

You have heard the doubters and the naysayers out there who always proclaim “I’ll believe it when I see it!” In reality, it is the other way around; it is not until you believe it, that you will see it (no matter what “it” is)!

Self-limiting beliefs are perhaps the most detrimental of all thoughts, since they absolutely will keep you from the success that you may want, but don’t believe you can attain. There is an old saying that goes ”whether you think you can or you can’t, your right!” This saying is completely congruent with the Law of Belief.

Law of Expectation

Simply stated, the Law of Expectations tells us that whatever one expects, with confidence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When one expects with confidence that good things will happen, they usually will. If, on the other hand, one expects a negative outcome to a situation, then the outcome will usually be negative.

Our expectations play a key role in our own outcomes and they also have a remarkable effect on the people around us. What we expect from those around us determines our attitude toward them more than any other factor. In turn, the people around us tend to reflect our attitudes right back at us - whether the expectations and attitudes are positive or negative, good or bad.

Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction states that we attract into our lives, that which we focus our thoughts upon. If your thoughts are constantly on positive outcomes and good results, then that is what we will manifest. If, on the other hand, your predominant thoughts are on negative outcomes and poor results, then that is what you will attract.

This is based on the fact that the Universe and everything in it is simply vibrational energy in motion. Emotions, thoughts, feelings and objects – absolutely everything has a vibrational frequency. Since like attracts like, it is only logical that the vibrational frequency of your predominant thoughts will attract results that have a similar vibrational frequency. We know that emotions that are love-based (love, desire, happiness, wonder, joy etc.) have a very high vibrational frequency, whereas emotions that are fear-based (anger, hatred, intolerance, fear, sadness etc.) vibrate at a very low frequency.

Law of Correspondence

“As within, so without” is an old saying that perfectly describes the Law of Correspondence. This simply means that what happens on the outside is merely a reflection of what is happening on the inside. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. An individual that is unhappy and living in conflict with themselves, will always exhibit negative behaviors on the outside. Sometimes, one can mask these negative behaviors and thoughts, but the true feelings will eventually reveal themselves. Everything in our lives is a mirror of what is happening within us. If you want to make your outside life better, the only way to accomplish this is to change what is happening on the inside.

In order to live the successful, happy life we all deserve, it is necessary to understand and live by Universal Law. The best way to do this is to first and foremost, take control over your thoughts and to stay in the present moment.

Ask yourself constantly; "What am I thinking about right now?" If the answer is something negative, then take the opportunity to change your thoughts. This will start to put you back in control of your life which is the first step to lasting happiness and peace of mind!

About the Author: Tony Davies is a Business & Personal Coach, as well as an expert in the areas of Leadership and Personal Development. An extensive business background along with a passion, and gift, for personal development have enabled Tony to reach a broad range of clients. To find out how Tony can help you, visit his website at http://www.momentumbusines.ca.

Source: www.isnare.com